After two days of trying to convince Junior he needed to wait to see the world he decided to see the world too early.
I started having contractions around 7pm Saturday night. The doctors did everything they could to stop them but the more they tried the worse they got.
Ethan Alexander Minyard was born alive at 1:10 am on Sunday Morning. I was able to hold him for a brief little while before the doctor started working on me and I gave Ethan to his daddy. Scott held him for the entire time the doctor worked on me. I could hear Scott crying so hard. Once they were finished with me they staff turned down the lights, Scott moved the couch beside the bed and we laid beside each other with our son in the middle until he left us. I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life. I don't know that I've ever been so sad in my life.
We were able to hold Ethan and love him for three hours before he left us. His heart was strong but his lungs weren't able to keep up. I think we were very blessed to have had a couple days to prepare for Ethan's arrival, and even more so to be able to spend a few precious hours with him. I think it will help in our healing to know we were his mommy and daddy and he was loved for even just a little while.
Because Ethan was born alive he will receive a birth certificate and a death certificate. This is not considered a miscariage; it is considered a fetal demise. We basically had a baby that passed away. The hospital staff have been really compassionate through all of this. Also because of his size and weight Ethan is required to have a proper funeral. The ceremony will only be with Scott, I, and our families.
It's Monday morning 5am now and we are still in the hospital. My fever keeps spiking from 102.5 yesterday to 103.8 today. I think the doctor will have to do one more proceedure to clean up any residual matter inside to help me fight any infections I may have from the delivery. Hopefully that will stabilize me and I'll be able to leave the hospital this afternoon. We'll see.
I've tried to contact everyone to let them know, but if I have happened to miss someone please feel free to pass on the information to other friends, family, and loved ones.
I don't know what the recovery period is for the loss of a child but I'm pretty sure we will be OK. I guess the doctor will have to determine the recovery time for my body, and for Scott and my emotional state. But on a personal level we have such wonderful friends that have prayed so hard for us. We are truely blessed to have so many caring people in our lives. Thank you so much for all the prayers and thoughts and messages of encouragement. They have been wonderful. I know everyone feels sad becuase of our loss, but just know that we are OK and that Ethan was loved.
Love
Nolie, Scottie, and Ethan
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
1st Day in the hospital
Our Thanksgiving weekend is not going so well just yet. Junior C. Monkey is in danger of being born now at 20 weeks and if so he will not make it. We found out the Wednesday before Thanksgiving that Junior is a boy! He is doing fine, but it's me that is having problems
At 3am Friday morning I got up to go to the bathroom and something didn't feel right and I was bleeding. It didn't stop so I called the hospital and they told us to come in. We got her about 3:30am. They began monitoring the baby and everything seemed fine. When the my doctor came in to exam me he found my cervix was 100% dialated meaning I have already gone into labor. Because I am 100% dialated there is nothing they can do to stop it.
I have a condition called Incompetent Cervix which means that once the baby started putting pressure on my cervix my cervix opened immediately without warning. There is nothing we could have done to test for this except be pregnant and see if I can hold it.
The next step in delivery is for my water to break, but it hasn't yet. As long as my water doesn't break Junior will still be OK. The doctor expected my water to break yesterday/last night I'm still here and so is Junior we've been holding out for 38 hours so far. We can opt to break my water which will not change the outcome, Junior will not survive at 20 weeks. Bbut Scott and I have decided to leave it in GOD's hands and let nature take it's course. We are not going to make the decision to break my water unless it gets to the point that it effects me. Doctor tells me that both baby and I are suseptable to infection now, but we still want to hold out and see.
I am in the hospital now and have been since yesterday morning. I will be here for as long as it takes. If my water breaks Junior will be delivered immediatly and will not survive, but if I hold out for 21 days then Junior's lungs will developed to survive on his own. I'm praying that I stay healthy and that my water holds out a little longer.
We are praying for a miracle to hold out for at least 21 days, but the dr has guarded us against getting our hopes ups. He expects my water to break anytime because I guess it's unusual to get to full dialation and have the water still in tact.
I just wanted to let everyone know. I didn't want to put a damper on your holiday, but I wanted to let everyone know who doesn't already know. We've told the family and everyone I have cell phone numbers for which isn't very many after my phone died and I lost all the numbers. I'm starting from scratch so I really don't know who has gotten this message and who has not. Don't worry though we are doing OK, we don't need anything, and I'm not in any pain. I'm just a little sad. Scott and I are ready to deal with whatever the outcome is.
Thank you to all whom are already praying for us and thinking of us. We'll keep in touch and let you knw how it's going in a couple of days.
Love
Nolie, Socttie and Junior C. Monkey
At 3am Friday morning I got up to go to the bathroom and something didn't feel right and I was bleeding. It didn't stop so I called the hospital and they told us to come in. We got her about 3:30am. They began monitoring the baby and everything seemed fine. When the my doctor came in to exam me he found my cervix was 100% dialated meaning I have already gone into labor. Because I am 100% dialated there is nothing they can do to stop it.
I have a condition called Incompetent Cervix which means that once the baby started putting pressure on my cervix my cervix opened immediately without warning. There is nothing we could have done to test for this except be pregnant and see if I can hold it.
The next step in delivery is for my water to break, but it hasn't yet. As long as my water doesn't break Junior will still be OK. The doctor expected my water to break yesterday/last night I'm still here and so is Junior we've been holding out for 38 hours so far. We can opt to break my water which will not change the outcome, Junior will not survive at 20 weeks. Bbut Scott and I have decided to leave it in GOD's hands and let nature take it's course. We are not going to make the decision to break my water unless it gets to the point that it effects me. Doctor tells me that both baby and I are suseptable to infection now, but we still want to hold out and see.
I am in the hospital now and have been since yesterday morning. I will be here for as long as it takes. If my water breaks Junior will be delivered immediatly and will not survive, but if I hold out for 21 days then Junior's lungs will developed to survive on his own. I'm praying that I stay healthy and that my water holds out a little longer.
We are praying for a miracle to hold out for at least 21 days, but the dr has guarded us against getting our hopes ups. He expects my water to break anytime because I guess it's unusual to get to full dialation and have the water still in tact.
I just wanted to let everyone know. I didn't want to put a damper on your holiday, but I wanted to let everyone know who doesn't already know. We've told the family and everyone I have cell phone numbers for which isn't very many after my phone died and I lost all the numbers. I'm starting from scratch so I really don't know who has gotten this message and who has not. Don't worry though we are doing OK, we don't need anything, and I'm not in any pain. I'm just a little sad. Scott and I are ready to deal with whatever the outcome is.
Thank you to all whom are already praying for us and thinking of us. We'll keep in touch and let you knw how it's going in a couple of days.
Love
Nolie, Socttie and Junior C. Monkey
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Why Jr. C. Monkey
Well what do you call a baby who doesn't have a name yet? Baby bump, baby, junior, we didn't know, so we call it Junior. So where did C. Monkey come from? Junior's second ultra sound picture looked more like a shrimp than a baby. I said that to someone in my office and she responded to "not just a shrimp, but a sea monkey". Thus the only name that has stuck for the last three months, Jr. C. Monkey. I love the name. I think the the name monkey or my little C. Monkey will stick with baby for a long long time. We find out baby's gender before Thanksgiving, but I don't know if we'll get away from C. Monkey. We've even agreed on a theme for baby's room, baby jungle animals!!! Of course one of the animals is a monkey. We tried to find a monkey costume for baby for next Halloween, but we couldn't find one 6-12 months, so we have an elephant instead. I just may have to check out eBay and see what I can find.
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